Disastrous Wallaby Time-travel Incident
So, Melbourne - a pet wallaby from Wrightstown, Pennsylvania finally escaped
on June 12th. He then bounced about a bit, deliberately making neighbors think that the "poor little beast was lost". Once that was established, he clambered down into his secret lair beneath a large Oak tree to begin his grand, but unfortunate experiment. His recently completed device: the Transformer-Teleporter had just been completed - all the necessary parts and power had been procured, and the time had arrived. Melbourne's goal was to transform himself into a powerful and large kangaroo, transport himself back in time, and across the planet - so he could arrive (as a kangaroo) in a free and wide open Australia. To be a free kangaroo - two years earlier, half a meter taller, and half a world away was his aim.
The best laid plans of Wallabies and Men often go awry - as they did in this case. Melbourne did succeed with his invention, but his aim and calibration were off. The fantastic device threw him back through the space-time continuum, but only two months, not two years. He was indeed transformed - alas, not into a grand kangaroo, but into a female wallaby. And he (rather, she) was catapulted across the ocean - but the wrong ocean indeed. She found herself on the other side of the Atlantic from her Pennsylvania home, and rather than the warm skies of Australia, she found herself under the dour gray skies of Scotland - on Islay, the southernmost of the Hebrides Islands.
Melbourne despaired, unsure of where she was, what had gone so horribly wrong. She set to work to replicate her device, to try and set things right again. She scoured farmhouses and barns for whatever gear she could find, stopping only to nibble on the foreign grasses from time to time. Several days ago though, her efforts came to a tragic end. While hopping across a small back road, a tangle of power cords in her small arms, she was struck by a speeding van, and died from her injuries. Melbourne the wallaby was found on June 8th
, much to the bewilderment of the entire island of Islay (pop 3,400).
What? You've got a better explanation?
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